I don't know who I am

Nowadays, I attend some networking events and I start to get used to with people saying like these:
- I'm A, I'm a designer
- I'm B, I'm an artist
- My name is D, I'm a business consultant
- lalalala

Me:
Hello, I'm Widy. Yes, I'm that Widy Dinarti
or
Hello, I'm Widy. Do you know Widy Dinarti? That's me.

hahaha I wish I could say like that!
full stop. no more explanation, because people have already know what is Widy Dinarti.

picture taken from http://lifedocument.wordpress.com/2011/11/16/who-am-i/

well to be honest, I don't know who I am. I'm no longer know who am I and what do I want to do in my life.

Previously, I am very sure who I am and what do I want to do in my life. At first off this phase, I was so scared, but then I realize that actually this is a normal phase in a human being. I saw that many of my colleague and friends have this kind of phase in the past. Maybe I'm just a little bit too late to experience it ;p well better late than nothing, no? :D Yeah, I'm guessing it's because I just move to a new environment. I recognize that I have sort of this feeling every time I move to a new place, but not as different as this one. This is my first time that I'm living by my own. No genetic family, no close friends, no AIESEC (which is the most difficult one), new language, new work place, new job, new currency, and everything is completely new.

Something that I know for sure is I'm pretty comfortable with myself now. Even though I don't know who I am and what do I want to do, I'm really enjoy and happy with my current state.

To be honest, now I'm not comfortable to put any label or title to myself. Because for me, labeling myself means that I have a responsible to make sure that I'm doing something that explain the label well. Yeah, I recognize that my reason sounds like irresponsible. Well, now I'm in the exploring phase of my adventurous life. I just simply want to know how it is like being a human being. I want to enjoy my life, know more about who is actually this living being. Since I feel that my body, my mind and my soul are just scattered to different direction. I really want to know what actually my interest and my purpose of life. Since I start to recognize what previously I am, my interest, my life call or whatsoever are the things that my society tried to construct me.

How about you? Who are you?

I don't (feel) belong to any country

Lately, I got these type of questions that somehow difficult for me to answer..

Which country that are you belong?

First, I don't understand the meaning of the question :D

• are they trying to ask which country that I feel belong?
• or, are they trying to ask which is my favorite country?
• or, are they trying to ask which country that I will support if there is a world war?
• or, are they trying to ask what is my nationality?

Second, I don't know what happened with me, but to be honest, I don't feel that I belong to any country. 

I can say that I was born and raised in Indonesia

I can say that both my parents are Indonesian and the whole of my genetic family are living and staying in Indonesia

I can say that my nationality is Indonesian

but, I don't feel comfortable to describe myself as Indonesian and at some point I feel more Javanese than Indonesian even though my ancestors are from South Asia and South China and I've been raised by a mixture of Islam culture that acculturated to Javanese culture or Indonesian culture or whatsoever culture is and don't forget the media which has so strong power of influence :D  

but yeah, I have to admit that it's way easier to say "I'm Widy from Indonesia" when I introduced myself :p

image taken from Dmitry Dimitriev cover picture

 

well, my point is, if this situation happen to you,  it's okay if you feel so :)

it is normal to feel that way :)

I believe that there are lot of people have the feeling like this. well at least me :p

ha! now, I think my Nationalism, Globalism, and Cosmopolitanism class that I took several years ago does make sense :D I wish I paid more attention on that class (^o^")

5000 years of religions in 90 seconds

I wish I saw this video 20 years ago :)

It's 25! It's time for another challenges!

Yes! I can say that last year project ran successfully :)

Even though I didn't managed to answer all of the challenge such as:

- singing in front of public at Siam Paragon, Bangkok

- getting myself a teddy bear costume and going around Bangkok on it

- travelling South East Asia (Brunei and Burma weren't covered)

- reading Conversation with God

I managed to accomplished 70% of the challenges

I feel that the project was fun and some people get entertained as well which makes me happy :D

So, this year I decided to do the same thing again, but I increased the duration.

well, I learned that some of the challenges are impossible to be accomplished in 1 year. Dude, how can I get married and have baby in 1 year, meanwhile I haven't got any serious partner? (=_=!)

and here we go:

THE 25th BDAY CHALLENGE !

Hi Guys! On this special day, I would like to invite you to the FUN, JOY and HAPPINESS of my fearless, restless yet super duper awesomely fruitful LIFE! Yeah! Instead of wishing me a happy birthday (which I know you’ll do that, thank you!!),give me a challenge that I have to accomplish in the next 5 years. I’ll try my best to fulfill your challenge and would love to share it with you once achieved. THANK YOU!!

as shown in my cover picture:

and I put this picture (below) as my profile picture :D

I wish I'll get more challenges from more people rather than last year :D

however, if it didn't turn out well, I know how to find fun and random challenges for myself :D

well, I'm happy lah~

THANK YOU!

24th Birthday Challenge

Last year, people told me that I have to live my life but somehow I'm not quite sure what it is about living our life. Then instead of pondering alone, I utilize my birthday, which Facebook will attack people's attention with its friendly reminder, to invite people to do brainstorming with me by posting/sending their challenge to me that I have to accomplish in my 24th lap of my life race.

So, here we go..

after getting feedback as well as grammar checking with my multinational housemates, we come up with this note :D  

oops.. it seems that it will not appear clearly in my Facebook profile picture. 

Then, I tried to make it more visible

mmm.. why it looks like an advertisement of cheap medicine? (=_=!)

ok! let's make something that looks provoactive, then it became like this:

to be honest, nothing changed (=__=!)

well, the main point is the message! hmph! :D

National Entrepreneurship Forum #2

These are some pictures from the Dare 2 Innovate of Suara Surabaya that is supported by AIESEC Surabaya and Universitas Ciputra

and here are some of my members who made this event happened! :D the cuties, the happy people, the one whom I always got inspiration about Enjoying My Life :) :) love them so much!

*written by me on March 2011 and I don't know why it was not uploaded at that time 

I'm so damn tired!

iya, akhir-akhir ini hari-hari begitu melelahkan

teman-teman saya mulai mempertanyakan loyalitas saya pada mereka

dimanakah saya ketika momen-momen penting mereka sedang terjadi

iya, saya di sini

dengan rutinitas saya

rutinitas yang seringkali tidak dimengerti banyak orang

rutinitas yang aneh menurut mereka

tapi tidak menurut saya

bagi saya rutinitas ini wajar dan menyenangkan

saya senang bila semua kehebohan itu terjadi

saya senang bila semua kerumitan itu muncul

saya senang bila ada masalah

karena, itu pertanda ada sesuatu yang bisa dipelajari :D

btw, ini post pathetic amat yak? ;p


*************

I just found out this draft of post that I wrote in 4th June 2011 :D I can say that it is part of my culture shock and working culture shock :D wow!! it's really fun to know what I've been trough so far and how I get developed by it :D this post definitely one of the cute stuffs of mine which in the past I don't have so much gut to post it LOL

************

My friend map!

For me, AIESEC does really help me in building my network around the world.

*************
another post which should be posted 2 years ago :D

Online shopping in India with flipkart :D

Well, living in Noida which we (or maybe only me) don't have so much interesting stuff to do to kill our leisure time and going to Delhi which 1 hour away from my place is not the option for a lazy me. So I decided to try this online shopping named flipkart.com :D However, it's been a long time I really want to get this books, and I never do any effort to get it done. So, maybe this is the best time to try buying book online :D 

After living for 2 months in India, I start to know that lot of Indian use this online store to get something. Yes, it is true that going to the mall/store, spending your hours in a traffic with the horn and dust, and sometimes can't find all you want in one store does really make you crazy (=_=!) so this online store does really help us a lot. I can rally use my weekend for exploring India instead of going to the mall to find something and end up with buying other things (=_=!) 

Why do I recommend flipkart.com?

• They have all you need! yes they are megaonline store :D
• It's so easy to make an order, only 4 steps: 1
• You can by "Cash on Delivery" :D
• They always have discount! so it's cheaper than you buy in the physical store itself
• It's free delivery if you buy more than Rs 300 :)
• They will send you the items in 2-3 days delivery :)
• They will call you to ask the confirmation (after email+sms) of your order

So I'm happy online shopper (so far) :) :)

Well, this are the books that I ordered:

1. Lonely Planet India, The 30 years edition

Well, after I read this article: http://convergemagazine.com/featured/travel-young/ I start to really think over the importance of really explore the world while you were young. And as I'm actually have the opportunities to do that (like now I'm living in the Incredible India, last year in Thailand, previously in Jakarta and Surabaya, Indonesia), actually I don't supposed to waste my time just for lazying around and add more fat in my body by only working in front of laptop-eating-and-sleeping. Now it's been an urgency for me to really make my plan + budgeting to really GO OUT! especially after my pathetic life in Thailand (in 14 months, I can only counting numbers and buying stuffs in Thai, I never know all provinces in Thailand, never been to majority of them nor knowing how to spell it properly *super lame ). In addition, about the lonely planet book,  it's been a very very long time that I kept saying myself, one day I'll buy lonely planet Indonesia and South East Asia then I'll go travel around. But then, it's just a word (=_=!) Oh yeah, I have to admit that I'm not that adventurous enough to just go and travel. I like to learn about it first, get the recommendation from people then I'll go travel by myself :D

2. Business Model Generation

Well, it's because of last year the AIESEC International used this method to improve our business model, I start to really into this book. But I never had any hardcopy, I keep maintaining myself to open my laptop and read the ebook every time I need to learn again about this method. Then as I start to get tired of my super small 10 inch screen and my eyes start to get hurt by this, so I decided to get the hardcopy of this book! yeay! can't wait to put some note on this books :) :) happy!

3. Business Model You

I need coach! yes I need somebody who can guide me and give me some suggestion about my career. As the time is tick-tocking and I haven't found any, yeah! again! It's time for self coaching! So I finally decided to really buy the hardcopy of this book, after going back and forth to Kinokuniya Siam Paragon (when I was in Bangkok) to read and make summary of what I read from this book :D 

4. IELTS Practice Book

Yeah, as you may realize from the way I wrote this blog, you will understand my lack competency of English. Meanwhile I really need this what so called IELTS score with minimum straight 6.5 to apply for scholarship. To be honest, I am very nervous with that :( Then I need to have more practice to reduce my stress level. Since I don't have time to commute to British Council in Delhi for IELTS course. I decided to do some self practice at home. Hope my American roommate will help me out of it as well :D

oh I'm happy! Shopping does really make me happy (and broke in the same time) :D

100% Guilt Free Shopper Campaign

*taken from wto-asia.com

1. I am a shopper against child and forced labor

The International Labor Organization (ILO) has estimated that 250 million children between the ages of five and fourteen work in developing countries. 61% in Asia, 32% in Africa and 7% in Latin America. Many of these children are forced to work. They are denied an education and a normal childhood. Some are confined and beaten. Some are denied the right to leave the workplace and go home to their families. Some are even abducted and forced to work. Fair Trade adheres to the UN Convention on the Rights of the child on the employment of children and makes sure that there is no forced labor and workers do not work beyond their agreed work hours. It also ensures safe and healthy working conditions with sufficient sanitation, ventilation, lighting, clean drinking water, and first-aid should be available and easily accessed in the workplace.

2. I am a shopper against sweatshops

A sweatshop is a workplace where workers are subject to extreme exploitation, including the absence of a living wage or benefits, poor working conditions, and arbitrary discipline, such as verbal and physical abuse. Since sweatshop workers are paid less than their daily expenses, they are never able to save any money to improve their lives. They are trapped in an awful cycle of exploitation. All kind of products can be made in sweatshops. Fair Trade makes it possible for workers to be paid a living wage, enough to meet their basic needs and to enable them to plan a better future. They are educated about their rights, including local labor laws.

3. I am a shopper against poverty.

Almost half the world over three billion people, live on less than $2.50 a day. According to UNICEF, 22,000 children die each day due to poverty. And they die quietly in some of the poorest villages on earth, far removed from the scrutiny and the conscience of the world. Being meek and weak in life makes these dying multitudes even more invisible in death. Fair Trade reduces poverty by supporting marginalized small producers, whether these are independent family businesses, or grouped in associations or co-operatives. Fair Trade seeks to enable them to move from income insecurity and poverty to economic self-sufficiency and ownership.

4. I am a shopper against discrimination

In 2004, women's wages in the USA were 76.5% of men's wages. Moreover, it was found out that customers prefer white men over equally-well performing women and ethnic minority employees, who may help explain why white men continue to earn more than other types of employees. If this can happen to one of the most progressive countries in the world, just imagine the inequality that happens in developing countries. Fair Trade values the contributions of women and men. It upholds the principle of equal pay for equal work of equal value. It does not discriminate in hiring, remuneration, access to training, promotion, termination or retirement based on race, caste, national origin, religion, disability, gender, sexual orientation, union membership, political affiliation, HIV/Aids status or age.

The organization provides opportunities for women and men to develop their skills and actively promotes applications from women for job vacancies and for leadership positions in the organization.

5. I am a shopper against environmental decay.

Fair Trade maximizes the use of raw materials from sustainably managed sources in their ranges, buying locally when possible. It aims to use production technologies that seek to reduce energy consumption and where possible use renewable energy technologies that minimize greenhouse gas emissions. It seeks to minimize the impact of their waste stream on the environment. Fair Trade agricultural commodity producers minimize their environmental impacts, by using organic or low pesticide use production methods wherever possible.

6. I am a shopper against unsecure livelihood

Three million disadvantaged producers from poor communities around the world are benefiting from fair trade. Income from fair trade helps poor communities to build houses, create new jobs, and invest in long-term economic ventures to improve their quality of life.

7. I am a shopper against ignorance.

Based on enrollment data, about 72 million children of primary school age in the developing world were not in school in 2005; 57 per cent of them were girls. And these are regarded as optimistic. Nearly a billion people entered the 21st century unable to read a book or sign their names. Communities producing fair trade products/services can afford to build local schools and buy their children books and school materials.

8. I am a shopper against unsafe working conditions.

Fair Trade provides a safe and healthy working environment for employees and / or members. It complies, at a minimum, with national and local laws and ILO conventions on health and safety. Working hours and conditions for employees and / or members (and any homeworkers) comply with conditions established by national and local laws and ILO conventions. Aside from this, Fair trade community-projects also provide medical care for workers and their families, without which, they would remain remote from clinics and health centers.

9. I am a shopper against the loss of cultural identity.

Fair Trade products are unique to the places they come from and the people who make them. Producers and artisans are involved in the entire process, and Fair Trade products reflect the people and cultures they come from.

10. I am a shopper against disempowerment.

Fair Trade doesn't just give aid it actually empowers individual workers, small producers and communities to take charge of their lives. Fair Trade develops the skills and capabilities of its own employees or members. Organizations working directly with small producers develop specific activities to help these producers improve their management skills, production capabilities and access to markets local / regional / international / Fair Trade and mainstream as appropriate. Also, Fair Trade increases the role of the small producers in planning, decision-making and collective bargaining in their enterprises and organizations. This allows them to take control over their future and have greater voice on issues that affect them

11. I am a shopper against businesses that put people last.

Some mega companies all over the world are falling into the trap of greed and abuse of power as evidenced by sweatshops. Fair Trade main asset is people. With so much exploitation and unjust practices that are happening in the global trading system, Fair Trade makes sure that people's rights are championed first before profit.

12. I am a shopper against low quality products.

Fair Trade products are high in quality. Artisans and food producers take pride in their work. Crafts are often handmade, which translates to closer attention to detail and higher-quality products. Fair Trade food is typically organic and availing of seasonal, fresh ingredients, which offers a healthy and safe alternative for you and your family.

I LOVE MY JOB!!!

Oh My God!
I do really really love my job!
This is the best job that I have ever had in my life right now!

can you imagine a combination of:

• rural development
• women empowerment
• textile and fashion
• handicraft (or what so I called cute stuffs) 
• local product (or what so I called ethnic stuffs)
• training and people development
• marketing
• international working environment
• mentorship program
• free flow coffee and milk tea :D

this is seriously awesome! I like it! Alhamdulillah :) :)

Happy Rakhi Day! Please protect me, brother! :D

Scrap9.com



Scrap9.com - visit 4 more Greetings & Image Scraps

Well, as you might know, I have already moved to India since last Saturday *I should post something about it* then yesterday I just got information from the office that today I don't have to go to office. WHY? because today is public holiday. It is Rakhi Day!

picture taken from:  http://arealblogger.blogspot.in/2010/08/happy-raksha-bandhan.html

What is Rakhi Day?
Rasksha Badhan or rakhi is a brother's day in India. So, in this day, the girl will tie a sacred thread called rakhi to her brother's/cousin's/somebody that she take as her brother's wrist. Then in return, usually the brother will give a gift to the sister. It symbolize the girl wish wealth, health, success and other good thing to her brother and the brother take a vow to always protect her sister. So cute :)

So these days, just like christmas, the advertisement are all about brothers-sisters and there are lot of rakhi decoration and cute rakhi to be sold in the street and malls.

Here is the picture of my host sisters' rakhi, since they don't have brothers, they send it visa post-mail

I think the more rakhi you get, the more cool you are as a man because that means you have lot off girls to be protected :D and you'll get broke soon as well since you have to prepare lot of gifts :D

To be honest, I want to get rakhi as well, it's really cute! >.<

where the hell is Matt?

Today, I got this video posted in AIESEC Member Committee President facebook group. I've heard a lot about this project long time ago, but only this time I finally spent my 4:53 minutes time to really watched the video *lame

and honestly, these are the feeling and thought that happened in me:

First of all: OMG! This guy is really awesome! He traveled around the world and (somehow) promoting peace is a very unique way. He's doing something that he believe and passion about. He is doing something fun and (somehow) important. And what have I done in my life? Do all activities that I did really matters? Do all those stuffs are creating a positive change for other people? Am I significant enough in this world or am I just a creature who just randomly around in this world? (=___=!)

Second: I do really miss home! (even honestly to say, I'm still finding out what is "home" for me) There is a unique feeling arise when I watch the scene of Thailand. Then, I feel so proud when it comes into the Bali scene.

Third: I miss my AIESEC fellows especially when the scene shows Toronto and Hungary. And, really, every places on that video reminds me of my friends (who are mostly AIESECer) from those countries

ah! This video really brought me into a gloomy feeling LOL

more information about Where the hell is Matt?: http://www.wherethehellismatt.com/about


Widy, alone in the MC house

today is a big day for me!

Today, 5th of March 2012, another loop in my life!

why?
why?
why?

It's (simply) because I just send my application for AIESEC International Vice President Marketing 2012-2013!

Even right now, I still can't believe that finally I made it!

I made the decision, filling up the booklet, juggling with the time, booking time for meeting with bunch of people, having lot of deep personal conversation with my family and my best friends.

And YES I'M APPLYING FOR AIESEC International (AI)!

Maybe it's not easy for you who haven't joined in AIESEC yet to understand how am I feeling right now.

Well, for me, AI position is something that is really sacred. I feel that it takes HUGE and TON of more courage to apply for AI rather than applying for job or scholarship. I guess it is because you can apply for job or scholarship anytime, but AI is a once in a life time experience.

When I was new member of AIESEC, there was an AI Introduction video (I don't which year of AI, but they were wearing dark blue light blue stripes jersey) that really inspired me a lot. Honestly I didn't have any idea what is AI, who they are, what they are doing, why they do exist in AIESEC, but something that I know is: this people are looked so cool, smart, and awesome! they seems do a huge responsibility and tasks but they are happy with it and they enjoy every single moment that they do! the most important factor that really struck me is that they are so young but they do a serious business just like other old people in the level-C management of multinational corporation.

Since the first time I joined AIESEC, deep down in my heart I always want to experience being in AI team. But I didn't have even gut to apply for that not even thinking of applying. Thinking of applying AI was something that beyond my reach. I guess it is also supported by the fact that there were only 2 Indonesian who apply for AI in the last 7 years. So, applying for AI is something that is beyond our culture, beyond our paradigm, beyond everything. I guess if Jennie was not in AI last year, the thought of being AI will never really be existed in our members mind.

So, finally I made it!

I feel super excited with it!

This is super awesome!

This is amazing!

It's been years I only become the spectator of AI selection process, I downloaded the application, read the applicants booklet, watch their video and really get super duper amazed! Then, this year! I really make it happen! I'm part of the selection process!!!

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY!!!

Alhamdulillahirrabbilalamin :)

Thank you for AIESEC LC Surabaya, AIESEC in Indonesia, and AIESEC Thailand.
It's been an amazing year to get the learning from this 3 entities.

So I can say that I present this AI application journey to Allah, my parents, The Diamond, Sunshine, The Pioneer and all of my members who have helped me in finishing this application :) :)

THANK YOU!!!!!!!


ok! This is my application video for AI :)




p.s. this is just the beginning :D

about forgiving others

Today I wake up and found my self having my first 4 hours of the day with condition of super duper overwhelmed and feeling disappointed by somebody. Really really over extremely disappointed (again). Then somehow I feel really bad to have those feeling because I have promise to myself to not being like those miserable drama queen again :D Then I tried to forget it by doing some healthy stuff like take a shower and eating :D at last I try to open my Al Qur'an and read it. Then it so miraculous! I don't why, the part that I read has this part:

"Those who spend (freely), Whether in prosperity, or in adversity; who restrain anger, and pardon (all) men; For God loves those Who do good; And those who, Having done something to be ashamed of, or wronged their own souls, earnestly bring God to mind, and ask for forgiveness For their sins, and who can forgive sins except God? and are never obstinate in persisting knowingly in (the wrong) they have done"  (The Family of Imran 134-135)

Then I start to contemplate my self and remember what I did in the past such as hurting myself, who am I have the right to hurt my self? I'm just a human and even my body is not mine. How could I do that?

another article that I read:

So lose not heart, nor fall into despair: For ye must gain mastery if ye are true in faith (The Family of Imran 139)

I think that article is important to build up our confidence especially to bring back us to what it is really important for us :D

a blessing day

I can say that I'm somewhat satisfied and grateful with today.

My day was started with my conversation over skype with my best friend. Actually it was me who call for the meeting. I can say that it sort of a meeting, a coaching meeting to be exact. Literally I even made the agenda and map out all the topic that I want to talk with her in a mind map :D We were talking mostly about life (I've told you it was coaching :D ), started with my perception about the organization that I work with, my desired life that I want versus the life that I need, the meaning of my life, and about my relationship with people. I felt that it is needed for me to talk with somebody who have known me for years and seen how I have developed from teenager to young-adult. After the 3 hours talk, we conclude with she gave me 4 homework before our next meeting :D

1) to read The Alchemist-ok, now you know that I haven't read this book, what a shame :D

2) to find my life purpose

3) to make my life plan based on my life purpose

4) to really work on the action steps in my life plan :D

actually, all those last three points, I knew it already and I used to have it. But I don't know why, after these past 7 months everything become so blur and so confusing then I don't really sure what it should be for exact :(

The other stuffs that really moved me today are about the people that I have worked with in this past 3 years:

• I am so happy to know that my successor (for two times position) as well as was my team mate is accepted to be the facilitator of prestigious regional conference in the organization that we work. I can't describe how does my feeling, it was really amazing to know the girl that you recruit then you work together be in this achievement :)
• My other baby that I recruited 2 years ago, and somehow become sort of my successor, is applying for position in Thailand. For me, it is such an achievement! There are not many people from my local branch willing to go for even national leadership experience. After such a long due (about 5 years), without any representative in the national level from my local branch, I tried to break the culture and go for the national level. It was not easy, that is why I am so grateful that it is start to be a culture in my local branch to apply for higher position not only in the national level but even more, in the international level
• I got Black Berry Messenger invitation from a student in my department in university who is also work in the organization that I work. Then, I got news from her that there are lot students in year 2010 and 2011 who recognize our organization and be our member!! THIS IS AWESOME!!! I am so proud of my team!!
• Last but not least, the most epic one! I was watching through all the candidature videos for the national executive team of my organization in Thailand then it come to one video, the video of my local committee president. Believe it or not, I was crying like a baby. I was so moved to see how he has the courage to take another higher leap in this organization. This is such an incredible feeling.

Those makes me remember about all of the things that I've been through in these past 4,5 years. Start up the organization in my university, got rejection, people laughed at me, people mocked my actions, how people look down at me, and then how did I try to approach the parents of those kids. I was really persistence and put aside what other people think about me. The most important thing for me at that time was: How to make sure that there are more kids get opportunities like those lucky kids in Jakarta and other big cities in the world. I seriously didn't know how to make my ambition happen, at that time I just know that there is a great organization which I can use it as my tools to achieve my ambition :D

Then, another random but great things for today:

• I am so satisfied with my cooking skill today. The food that I cooked is acceptably good! I know it because I ate more today! That's the indicator for my food whether it's good or not good :D
• I went out for dinner with one of my team and we were having discussion about how our life should be in the next year :) such a thoughtful and inspiring discussion :)
• I start to read before I sleep even though my glasses are broken. I'm so happy with my self if I put more effort in doing something :D
• Midnight, I was sleeping and my successor called me asking about the Sunday meeting process and procedure. Incredibly I answered it just like I was not sleeping :D I just realized that he was calling me is in another hour, I was checking on my phone and saw that he was calling me. I don't remember at all about our conversation so I called him back to check that I didn't talk a crap (hahaha I feel so stupid! ;p)

Then last, it is so sweet. My member sent me a what's app message like this:

Widyyyy

I miss MC (*MC = member committee, my team)

T..T

This is so fast

I don't want u guys leave Thailand so soon

I wanna work and have time with u guys more longer

(T_T)

so sweet...

ah such a blessing day :) Alhamdulillah!

a challenge

why does everything so much more easier back home?

why is it really hard to understand the need of a society?

why do every time I want to do something that I thought it will be good for this society, turns into it is not really something that they want to do?

why they don't want to do it? maybe because they don't really need it

I think it is something like when we go to a primitive tribe, we thought that they need a toilet paper but actually they can just simply use the leaves

it's been 7 months and I haven't really blended with the society here

I am still an alien here

I see that there are super a lot opportunities

I see that these society will be better with our proposal idea

I want to have more people look at this society

I want to have more people recognize this society

but if the society don't want to have that recognition, don't want to be developed

what should I do?

and another question:

why should I be here?

if it is just for my own personal learning, I don't see the meaning of it

I want to do more and more for more people

but if they don't want to do it and they are happy with it

what to do oh what to do?