Where is home?

*another post from the morning cycle-rickshaw journey to the office

As I leave my cozy and warm apartment, walk down to the road and see the image of what most people called as real life in Ghaziabad, I start to think about my definition of home and how it evolves time by time.

When I was small and very short (like about from the feet till the elbow of my Mom when she stands)

My home is my parent's house...

Then, I forgot when it was for exact, maybe the time when my brother entering the kindergarten, so I was about 6 or 7, my father start to give me a huge responsibility: He gave me my own room. He told me that I can't make any mess in the house anymore and I have to put all my stuffs in my room. Then, it also came along with other responsibilities such as I have to take care of it, I have to sweep and mop the floor everyday, clean the dust on the table, and make the bed by myself in the morning. Ah ya! He also gave me a size of me (by then) mirror which have a small cupboard on it and he told me that he would not brush my hair again and I should put all my make up and accessories there. Plus, he gave me some lectures about being woman and being safe. Then, it followed by another rule that everyone who want to come to my room should knock the door first and I have right to chose whether I want to open it or not. NICE!

Since then, home is my room in my parent's house..

As I got accepted in university at different city, I start to live in a "kos-kosan". In Indonesia, it's a house which the owner still lives there and he/she rent all of the room for university students or recent graduates.  

Well, home is where my room is :)  

In 2012, as I got promoted in my career, I moved in Thailand. Some circumstances happened about housing and accommodation as well as I traveled to other cities or countries most of the time. So I don't exactly have room. I slept on the mattress, on the floor with my suitcase, on the couch of somebody's place, on the bed in house/hostel/hotel, on the bench of the airport, on the bus, on the plane, on the train, anywhere that I can sleep :D On those particular times, I called home is a place that I can have a rest.

Then, I started to feel home on my sleeping place (whatever it is) and every time I step my feet on the area of airport after checking time.

But during on the move, there was a special place that I always longing for. I thought the feeling will be gone as I visit Jakarta or Surabaya or Malang, but it was not. It was my bed on my room in Bangkok.      

So, I said, home is where I have my bed in it.

However, on June-July 2012, my home members started to continue their journey and some new home members came in. I started to feel my soul was scattered away. I feel incomplete.

Finally, I understood what people say as "Home is where the heart is"

Despite all of those realizations, I sometimes still have some mix match feeling about home. As time goes by, I learn to not be attach with any materials and any mortal thing. Well, as my rickshaw slowly got close to my destination, I made a conclusion that...

Home is where I am right now in the moment

Surviving is boring, yet suicide is definitely not an option!

Two days ago, I just realized that surviving is boring!

As what happened to me these days (well, months), with all the circumstances and what-so-ever it is about disability in looking for progress of all trials. I decided to stop all proactivity attitude and just being passive on everything that happens around me then observe as a guest, as an outsider.

Then my routines looks like this:

• sleeping
• go to office, desperately being the witness of economic disparity in Ghaziabad then start to think about life and get demotivated
• in the office, do whatever it is impassionately and without knowing the reason why should I do that. Just do and get the stipend
• having lunch
• doing unproductive work again
• going back home, thinking about the meaning of life, why am I doing this and that? why and why?
• random-ing around in the house
• having super late dinner
• sleeping again

In summary, I will get more demotivated by looking at my life is about sleeping, eating, desperate and demotivated, random-ing around like zombie. Well, if I want to be a little bit positive, at least I can say that my most productive activities are take a shower, laundry and body metabolism activities. 

well, well...

My survival activities are boring!

I thought surviving will be exciting :(

One day ago, I realized suicide is definitely not an option for me!

On the way back home, behind the super-hard-working rickshaw driver who is pulling the rickshaw, as usual I was thinking about life then I got an enlightenment that I do really really consciously realized that I REALLY LOVE MY LIFE!!!! 

Well, the contemplation was going like this:

1. I got bored, desperate and demotivated
2. Then I start to think about when will I finally end my experience here. I did some calculation about the contract, legal aspect and cost. I was so excited that finally I decided I will leave on 10 July 2013 to my net destination (which I still don't know where is it :p )
3. I realized that it is so fun and it was such a happy moment knowing when will you finish the term! 
4. I start to collecting my memories about my wishing list and to-do list. Then I got so excited by so many activities, wishes and hopes that I want to accomplish before I leave India.
5. Oh wait! my mind get reverse to number 3. Why do I so get excited knowing something will be ended? Will we always get excited by knowing when something will be ended? 
6. I start to make an analogy between this internship life and my life
7. Hmmm.. will I be this excited if I know when my life will be ended?
8. NO! I will be so sad if I know when my life will be ended :'( (even thinking about it makes me sad)
9. Why? Why? Why?
10. hmmmm....
11. why?
12. why?
13. ok! I have to admit that I really love my life! I love the people around me, I somehow still love the people from the past even though they don't exist anymore. I love my life! 
14. As my rickshaw approached my apartment, I make a conclusion that I love my life, I don't want to know when it will be ended, suicide is not an option, and definitely I will fight for my life! I will do everything to make my life will not just be a life :)    

So, what to do?

Yesterday, I remembered my conversation with one of my best friends. She told me that she knows me as someone who is not easy to give up, always striving, has positive attitude, happy and all people like me. Well, to be honest I felt like being judged (I don't know why, and I want to know why do I feel this way). 

Anyhooowww... she mentioned something important! 

STRIVING!  

Yes the STRIVING FOR EXCELLENT! 

In many training and conferences, I used to say "we aim to deliver the highest quality performance in everything we do. Through creativity and innovation we seek to continuously improve." how could I forget this!   

Yeah~ That is something that has been missing lately! I'm just survive as zombie! I should be survive and striving (like a vampire maybe, because they need blood to eat..whatever). Yeah! Striving is something that keeps me alive! Maybe striving is my state of nature, so I need it. Even though based on my experiences, my striving actions used to put me in so much trouble, I think I will be fine. If I would risk myself to be jailed because I was doing something that I believe. What stops me? 

OMG! I am so bored (=____=!)

Why? Why? Why? WHYYY???!?!?!?!?!

I AM SO BORED!!!
This is so boring!!

and I don't know why :( :( :( :(

for the first time in my life, I'm hoping that I will get fired so that I will have excuse to leave this path and start another path :( but will I be happy if I get fired?


will I feel ashamed if I get fired? well well, we shouldn't think what people might think about us. this is our life, we shouldn't let others do any projection into your life.

oh my.. I don't even know why should I talk here? why don't I talk with somebody personally? but who is that somebody? and will that somebody give a helpful suggestion?

OMG! This is so boring!


anyway, for many times in my life, I always get bored with something. why is it so easy for me to get bored? I really get bored easily with everything (=__=!) I still remember about:

• when I was kid, like still in the nursery school, I used to join my aunties to visit my relatives and have sleep over time there. why? I don't know. maybe I'm bored with my parent's house.
• I start to sleep over in my friend's house since I was 2nd grade of primary school. why? I don't know. maybe it's fun to feel belong to other families.
• I didn't continue my electone music class, why? hmmm actually I'm kinda like it, but I don't know why I should do that. and to be honest, actually I had 2 stupid reasons for quitting the class. It was because I was afraid with the teacher who has different religion with my family and I've been told that the particular religion is our enemy (=___=!) Another thing, it was because the majority of the class are from different ethnic group with me, and I've been told that the particular ethnic group treats my ethnic group badly (=___=!) aahhh what a poor innocent kid I used to be (=___=!)
• I stop my painting class when I was 9, just because it has the same schedule with The Turbo Ranger time. I still remember, it was every Wednesday 4 PM GMT+7
• Recently, I stop my Kathak Dance class, because I get bored with it :( if I have to find excuses, it will be: the movement is too slow, the music is not rhythmic enough for me, I don't like routine. If I have to dance, I want something that jumping around :D well well.. anyway, I remember that those are the same excuse that I gave for the previous Indonesian classic dance that I took (=__=!)
• Not only that, I also get bored easily with relationship. I think one of the reason why do I like to maintain friendship with many people and I can't belong to any gank or chic group is because I can't spend my time with the same group or people all the time.
• Talking about more serious one. To be honest, I also get bored easily with boys (=__=!) Once they want to have more serious relationship, the more I want to avoid them and bailed out of the commitment. In short, once I got them, I start to plan out the strategy how to break the relationship. oh my! am I in a trouble?

I think the longest commitment that I have ever made in my life was with my activities with the community behind my parent's house (4-5 years, stopped because I'm afraid with the boys), the Girl Scout (7 years, stopped because I don't like the attitude of the leaders), Junior Achievement (about 3 years and counting) and AIESEC (5 years and counting). Why? I think I should find the reason behind it to make my life not just about surviving.

hmmm... why? why? why? maybe...

• I feel that I have responsibilities
• I have the ownership of what I'm doing
• I understand the reason behind why I'm doing it
• I have a lot of space to put my idea into actions
• I believe in the organization and the activities that I'm doing is leading into something
• No one told me what I have to do, or if there is somebody told me what to do, I understand why do I have to do it
• I can see that I make progress on something that I'm doing
• I'm living in my dream, I know that what I do will make a change
• I feel that I have power and ability to do something

well well... what.to.do?

hmmm.. actually, I knew the reason why do I get bored here. After do some exercise in Business Model You book, I understood why do I feel uncomfortable and not alive these days (oh well.. these months). It is because my current working environment locus of area is contradictive with my locus area then my current key activities are not align with the things that I want to do.

In short: I AM TOTALLY LIVING OUTSIDE MY COMFORT ZONE.

which actually good! I have a lot of opportunities to get improved :)

hmm. I thought living outside comfort zone won't be boring. I thought it will be exciting. I feel like something wrong here! what-to-do?

well, so far.. before I'm able to make the change of my key activities, this is something that keep me alive, a tweet from one of my best friends few days ago:

for whatever hard it is, however tough it is, get up and walk ahead! :)

copyright: Maria Bernadet K.D., 2012

I don't know who I am

Nowadays, I attend some networking events and I start to get used to with people saying like these:
- I'm A, I'm a designer
- I'm B, I'm an artist
- My name is D, I'm a business consultant
- lalalala

Me:
Hello, I'm Widy. Yes, I'm that Widy Dinarti
or
Hello, I'm Widy. Do you know Widy Dinarti? That's me.

hahaha I wish I could say like that!
full stop. no more explanation, because people have already know what is Widy Dinarti.

picture taken from http://lifedocument.wordpress.com/2011/11/16/who-am-i/

well to be honest, I don't know who I am. I'm no longer know who am I and what do I want to do in my life.

Previously, I am very sure who I am and what do I want to do in my life. At first off this phase, I was so scared, but then I realize that actually this is a normal phase in a human being. I saw that many of my colleague and friends have this kind of phase in the past. Maybe I'm just a little bit too late to experience it ;p well better late than nothing, no? :D Yeah, I'm guessing it's because I just move to a new environment. I recognize that I have sort of this feeling every time I move to a new place, but not as different as this one. This is my first time that I'm living by my own. No genetic family, no close friends, no AIESEC (which is the most difficult one), new language, new work place, new job, new currency, and everything is completely new.

Something that I know for sure is I'm pretty comfortable with myself now. Even though I don't know who I am and what do I want to do, I'm really enjoy and happy with my current state.

To be honest, now I'm not comfortable to put any label or title to myself. Because for me, labeling myself means that I have a responsible to make sure that I'm doing something that explain the label well. Yeah, I recognize that my reason sounds like irresponsible. Well, now I'm in the exploring phase of my adventurous life. I just simply want to know how it is like being a human being. I want to enjoy my life, know more about who is actually this living being. Since I feel that my body, my mind and my soul are just scattered to different direction. I really want to know what actually my interest and my purpose of life. Since I start to recognize what previously I am, my interest, my life call or whatsoever are the things that my society tried to construct me.

How about you? Who are you?

I don't (feel) belong to any country

Lately, I got these type of questions that somehow difficult for me to answer..

Which country that are you belong?

First, I don't understand the meaning of the question :D

• are they trying to ask which country that I feel belong?
• or, are they trying to ask which is my favorite country?
• or, are they trying to ask which country that I will support if there is a world war?
• or, are they trying to ask what is my nationality?

Second, I don't know what happened with me, but to be honest, I don't feel that I belong to any country. 

I can say that I was born and raised in Indonesia

I can say that both my parents are Indonesian and the whole of my genetic family are living and staying in Indonesia

I can say that my nationality is Indonesian

but, I don't feel comfortable to describe myself as Indonesian and at some point I feel more Javanese than Indonesian even though my ancestors are from South Asia and South China and I've been raised by a mixture of Islam culture that acculturated to Javanese culture or Indonesian culture or whatsoever culture is and don't forget the media which has so strong power of influence :D  

but yeah, I have to admit that it's way easier to say "I'm Widy from Indonesia" when I introduced myself :p

image taken from Dmitry Dimitriev cover picture

 

well, my point is, if this situation happen to you,  it's okay if you feel so :)

it is normal to feel that way :)

I believe that there are lot of people have the feeling like this. well at least me :p

ha! now, I think my Nationalism, Globalism, and Cosmopolitanism class that I took several years ago does make sense :D I wish I paid more attention on that class (^o^")

It's 25! It's time for another challenges!

Yes! I can say that last year project ran successfully :)

Even though I didn't managed to answer all of the challenge such as:

- singing in front of public at Siam Paragon, Bangkok

- getting myself a teddy bear costume and going around Bangkok on it

- travelling South East Asia (Brunei and Burma weren't covered)

- reading Conversation with God

I managed to accomplished 70% of the challenges

I feel that the project was fun and some people get entertained as well which makes me happy :D

So, this year I decided to do the same thing again, but I increased the duration.

well, I learned that some of the challenges are impossible to be accomplished in 1 year. Dude, how can I get married and have baby in 1 year, meanwhile I haven't got any serious partner? (=_=!)

and here we go:

THE 25th BDAY CHALLENGE !

Hi Guys! On this special day, I would like to invite you to the FUN, JOY and HAPPINESS of my fearless, restless yet super duper awesomely fruitful LIFE! Yeah! Instead of wishing me a happy birthday (which I know you’ll do that, thank you!!),give me a challenge that I have to accomplish in the next 5 years. I’ll try my best to fulfill your challenge and would love to share it with you once achieved. THANK YOU!!

as shown in my cover picture:

and I put this picture (below) as my profile picture :D

I wish I'll get more challenges from more people rather than last year :D

however, if it didn't turn out well, I know how to find fun and random challenges for myself :D

well, I'm happy lah~

THANK YOU!

24th Birthday Challenge

Last year, people told me that I have to live my life but somehow I'm not quite sure what it is about living our life. Then instead of pondering alone, I utilize my birthday, which Facebook will attack people's attention with its friendly reminder, to invite people to do brainstorming with me by posting/sending their challenge to me that I have to accomplish in my 24th lap of my life race.

So, here we go..

after getting feedback as well as grammar checking with my multinational housemates, we come up with this note :D  

oops.. it seems that it will not appear clearly in my Facebook profile picture. 

Then, I tried to make it more visible

mmm.. why it looks like an advertisement of cheap medicine? (=_=!)

ok! let's make something that looks provoactive, then it became like this:

to be honest, nothing changed (=__=!)

well, the main point is the message! hmph! :D

I'm so damn tired!

iya, akhir-akhir ini hari-hari begitu melelahkan

teman-teman saya mulai mempertanyakan loyalitas saya pada mereka

dimanakah saya ketika momen-momen penting mereka sedang terjadi

iya, saya di sini

dengan rutinitas saya

rutinitas yang seringkali tidak dimengerti banyak orang

rutinitas yang aneh menurut mereka

tapi tidak menurut saya

bagi saya rutinitas ini wajar dan menyenangkan

saya senang bila semua kehebohan itu terjadi

saya senang bila semua kerumitan itu muncul

saya senang bila ada masalah

karena, itu pertanda ada sesuatu yang bisa dipelajari :D

btw, ini post pathetic amat yak? ;p


*************

I just found out this draft of post that I wrote in 4th June 2011 :D I can say that it is part of my culture shock and working culture shock :D wow!! it's really fun to know what I've been trough so far and how I get developed by it :D this post definitely one of the cute stuffs of mine which in the past I don't have so much gut to post it LOL

************

My friend map!

For me, AIESEC does really help me in building my network around the world.

*************
another post which should be posted 2 years ago :D

I LOVE MY JOB!!!

Oh My God!
I do really really love my job!
This is the best job that I have ever had in my life right now!

can you imagine a combination of:

• rural development
• women empowerment
• textile and fashion
• handicraft (or what so I called cute stuffs) 
• local product (or what so I called ethnic stuffs)
• training and people development
• marketing
• international working environment
• mentorship program
• free flow coffee and milk tea :D

this is seriously awesome! I like it! Alhamdulillah :) :)

today is a big day for me!

Today, 5th of March 2012, another loop in my life!

why?
why?
why?

It's (simply) because I just send my application for AIESEC International Vice President Marketing 2012-2013!

Even right now, I still can't believe that finally I made it!

I made the decision, filling up the booklet, juggling with the time, booking time for meeting with bunch of people, having lot of deep personal conversation with my family and my best friends.

And YES I'M APPLYING FOR AIESEC International (AI)!

Maybe it's not easy for you who haven't joined in AIESEC yet to understand how am I feeling right now.

Well, for me, AI position is something that is really sacred. I feel that it takes HUGE and TON of more courage to apply for AI rather than applying for job or scholarship. I guess it is because you can apply for job or scholarship anytime, but AI is a once in a life time experience.

When I was new member of AIESEC, there was an AI Introduction video (I don't which year of AI, but they were wearing dark blue light blue stripes jersey) that really inspired me a lot. Honestly I didn't have any idea what is AI, who they are, what they are doing, why they do exist in AIESEC, but something that I know is: this people are looked so cool, smart, and awesome! they seems do a huge responsibility and tasks but they are happy with it and they enjoy every single moment that they do! the most important factor that really struck me is that they are so young but they do a serious business just like other old people in the level-C management of multinational corporation.

Since the first time I joined AIESEC, deep down in my heart I always want to experience being in AI team. But I didn't have even gut to apply for that not even thinking of applying. Thinking of applying AI was something that beyond my reach. I guess it is also supported by the fact that there were only 2 Indonesian who apply for AI in the last 7 years. So, applying for AI is something that is beyond our culture, beyond our paradigm, beyond everything. I guess if Jennie was not in AI last year, the thought of being AI will never really be existed in our members mind.

So, finally I made it!

I feel super excited with it!

This is super awesome!

This is amazing!

It's been years I only become the spectator of AI selection process, I downloaded the application, read the applicants booklet, watch their video and really get super duper amazed! Then, this year! I really make it happen! I'm part of the selection process!!!

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY!!!

Alhamdulillahirrabbilalamin :)

Thank you for AIESEC LC Surabaya, AIESEC in Indonesia, and AIESEC Thailand.
It's been an amazing year to get the learning from this 3 entities.

So I can say that I present this AI application journey to Allah, my parents, The Diamond, Sunshine, The Pioneer and all of my members who have helped me in finishing this application :) :)

THANK YOU!!!!!!!


ok! This is my application video for AI :)




p.s. this is just the beginning :D

about forgiving others

Today I wake up and found my self having my first 4 hours of the day with condition of super duper overwhelmed and feeling disappointed by somebody. Really really over extremely disappointed (again). Then somehow I feel really bad to have those feeling because I have promise to myself to not being like those miserable drama queen again :D Then I tried to forget it by doing some healthy stuff like take a shower and eating :D at last I try to open my Al Qur'an and read it. Then it so miraculous! I don't why, the part that I read has this part:

"Those who spend (freely), Whether in prosperity, or in adversity; who restrain anger, and pardon (all) men; For God loves those Who do good; And those who, Having done something to be ashamed of, or wronged their own souls, earnestly bring God to mind, and ask for forgiveness For their sins, and who can forgive sins except God? and are never obstinate in persisting knowingly in (the wrong) they have done"  (The Family of Imran 134-135)

Then I start to contemplate my self and remember what I did in the past such as hurting myself, who am I have the right to hurt my self? I'm just a human and even my body is not mine. How could I do that?

another article that I read:

So lose not heart, nor fall into despair: For ye must gain mastery if ye are true in faith (The Family of Imran 139)

I think that article is important to build up our confidence especially to bring back us to what it is really important for us :D

a blessing day

I can say that I'm somewhat satisfied and grateful with today.

My day was started with my conversation over skype with my best friend. Actually it was me who call for the meeting. I can say that it sort of a meeting, a coaching meeting to be exact. Literally I even made the agenda and map out all the topic that I want to talk with her in a mind map :D We were talking mostly about life (I've told you it was coaching :D ), started with my perception about the organization that I work with, my desired life that I want versus the life that I need, the meaning of my life, and about my relationship with people. I felt that it is needed for me to talk with somebody who have known me for years and seen how I have developed from teenager to young-adult. After the 3 hours talk, we conclude with she gave me 4 homework before our next meeting :D

1) to read The Alchemist-ok, now you know that I haven't read this book, what a shame :D

2) to find my life purpose

3) to make my life plan based on my life purpose

4) to really work on the action steps in my life plan :D

actually, all those last three points, I knew it already and I used to have it. But I don't know why, after these past 7 months everything become so blur and so confusing then I don't really sure what it should be for exact :(

The other stuffs that really moved me today are about the people that I have worked with in this past 3 years:

• I am so happy to know that my successor (for two times position) as well as was my team mate is accepted to be the facilitator of prestigious regional conference in the organization that we work. I can't describe how does my feeling, it was really amazing to know the girl that you recruit then you work together be in this achievement :)
• My other baby that I recruited 2 years ago, and somehow become sort of my successor, is applying for position in Thailand. For me, it is such an achievement! There are not many people from my local branch willing to go for even national leadership experience. After such a long due (about 5 years), without any representative in the national level from my local branch, I tried to break the culture and go for the national level. It was not easy, that is why I am so grateful that it is start to be a culture in my local branch to apply for higher position not only in the national level but even more, in the international level
• I got Black Berry Messenger invitation from a student in my department in university who is also work in the organization that I work. Then, I got news from her that there are lot students in year 2010 and 2011 who recognize our organization and be our member!! THIS IS AWESOME!!! I am so proud of my team!!
• Last but not least, the most epic one! I was watching through all the candidature videos for the national executive team of my organization in Thailand then it come to one video, the video of my local committee president. Believe it or not, I was crying like a baby. I was so moved to see how he has the courage to take another higher leap in this organization. This is such an incredible feeling.

Those makes me remember about all of the things that I've been through in these past 4,5 years. Start up the organization in my university, got rejection, people laughed at me, people mocked my actions, how people look down at me, and then how did I try to approach the parents of those kids. I was really persistence and put aside what other people think about me. The most important thing for me at that time was: How to make sure that there are more kids get opportunities like those lucky kids in Jakarta and other big cities in the world. I seriously didn't know how to make my ambition happen, at that time I just know that there is a great organization which I can use it as my tools to achieve my ambition :D

Then, another random but great things for today:

• I am so satisfied with my cooking skill today. The food that I cooked is acceptably good! I know it because I ate more today! That's the indicator for my food whether it's good or not good :D
• I went out for dinner with one of my team and we were having discussion about how our life should be in the next year :) such a thoughtful and inspiring discussion :)
• I start to read before I sleep even though my glasses are broken. I'm so happy with my self if I put more effort in doing something :D
• Midnight, I was sleeping and my successor called me asking about the Sunday meeting process and procedure. Incredibly I answered it just like I was not sleeping :D I just realized that he was calling me is in another hour, I was checking on my phone and saw that he was calling me. I don't remember at all about our conversation so I called him back to check that I didn't talk a crap (hahaha I feel so stupid! ;p)

Then last, it is so sweet. My member sent me a what's app message like this:

Widyyyy

I miss MC (*MC = member committee, my team)

T..T

This is so fast

I don't want u guys leave Thailand so soon

I wanna work and have time with u guys more longer

(T_T)

so sweet...

ah such a blessing day :) Alhamdulillah!

a challenge

why does everything so much more easier back home?

why is it really hard to understand the need of a society?

why do every time I want to do something that I thought it will be good for this society, turns into it is not really something that they want to do?

why they don't want to do it? maybe because they don't really need it

I think it is something like when we go to a primitive tribe, we thought that they need a toilet paper but actually they can just simply use the leaves

it's been 7 months and I haven't really blended with the society here

I am still an alien here

I see that there are super a lot opportunities

I see that these society will be better with our proposal idea

I want to have more people look at this society

I want to have more people recognize this society

but if the society don't want to have that recognition, don't want to be developed

what should I do?

and another question:

why should I be here?

if it is just for my own personal learning, I don't see the meaning of it

I want to do more and more for more people

but if they don't want to do it and they are happy with it

what to do oh what to do?

Last Post in 2011

this is the last post of 2011

*random :D

The 3 A's of Awesome does ZUPER AWESOME

seriously, this video really make me think about what have I done in my life?
lot of people (including me) are too busy with their routine and forgot the small things happen in surround us
if we want to be more aware with this small things, for sure we will be more grateful with our life

so the 3 A's of awesome:
ATTITUDE
AWARENESS
AUTHENTICITY



Thanks to Frank and Bella who shared this video to me :)
You guys are so AWESOME!!!

the most pathetic song ever!

another random day has came

Bella -my house mate- and me obviously be more random than ever

we just listen to some music and decide that these two song are the most pathetic song ever!!

Number one

Crave You by Flight Facilities

Why can't you want me like the other boys do?
They stare at me while I stare at you
Why can't I keep you safe as my own?
One moment I have you the next you are gone
Rehearsed steps on an empty stage
That boy's got my heart in a silver cage
Why can't you want me like the other boys do?
They stare at me while I crave you

I walked into the room dripping in gold
Yeah dripping in gold
I walked into the room dripping in gold
Dripping in gold
A wave of heads did turn, or so I've been told
Or so I've been told
My heart broke when I saw you kept your gaze controlled
Oh I cannot solve

Why can't you want me like the other boys do?
They stare at me while I stare at you
Why can't I keep you safe as my own?
One moment I have you the next you are gone
Rehearsed steps on an empty stage
That boy's got my heart in a silver cage
Why can't you want me like the other boys do?
They stare at me while I crave you

It's true I crave you
Crave You
It's true I crave you

Let's just stop and think, before I lose face
Surely I can't fall, into a game of chase
Around his little finger, that boy has got me curled
I try to reach out, but he's in his own world
This boy's got my head tied in knots with all his games
I simply want him more because he looks the other way

Why can't you want me like the other boys do?
They stare at me while I stare at you
Why can't I keep you safe as my own?
One moment I have you the next you are gone
Rehearsed steps on an empty stage
That boy's got my heart in a silver cage
Why can't you want me like the other boys do?
They stare at me while I crave you

I am craving you

Number Two

Love It When You Call by The Feeling

I found a switch, you turned it on
I hit the ditch, you carried on
I was so near, now you're so far
Are you quite sure just who you are?

Oh I know you could choose a friend
But you don't seem to have the time
Oh and I, I wonder if you ever get to say what's on your mind
Well, take a little time, come on, take a little time

I love it when you call, I love it when you call
I love it when you call but you never call at all
So what's the complication? It's only conversation
I love it when you call but you never call at all, whoa
He loves it when you call, he loves it when you call, ah!

Remember me? I used to be
Your best time buddy that you couldn't wait to see
We're getting old, it takes a toll
And hearts getting broken leads to people growing cold

Oh I, I'm flipping with a coin that's got a tail on either side
Oh and I, I'm gonna be the one who makes you stop and realize
You could have it all, yeah, we should have it all

I love it when you call, I love it when you call
I love it when you call but you never call at all
So what's the complication? It's only conversation
I love it when you call but you never call at all, whoa
He loves it when you call, he loves it when you call

Yeah, I wonder were you been
Yeah, and I wonder who you've seen
Yeah, I hope you find your dream
When you do I really hope it's all it seems

I love it when you call, I love it when you call
I love it when you call but you never call at all
So what's the complication? It's only conversation
And I love it when you call but you never call at all, woo!

but, I don't know...

I said somehow those two songs are kind a toxic song just like "Heart You" by Smash

Blueberry and Strawberry

and, it turns into...

blueberry

and

strawberry

goede morgen, Rotterdam

Get a Life, Widy!

These days I've just read some articles

and passed through some pictures in my FB friends album

lalalalalala~

Well, I think I have led my life too seriously.
OMG!
Get a life Widy!


Hmm..

then it turns into a thought about:
how to create a dynamic environment which our members love into it?
how to make sure that our members encouraged to be active & enthusiastic involved?
how to make sure that each individual is empowered & motivated to be a better person?
how to make sure that our team members enjoy in completing their task?
how to make sure our members are super eager to improve their personal development as well as their professional development?
how to make sure that our people are happy with our organization?
how to make sure that this most important stakeholders are satisfied with our work?

in simple words,

How to ensure this is happening:


Yeah, it's kinda random thought, please don't take it too personal :D

*Pictures taken from
Get a Life pic: http://zulaikhamz.blogspot.com/2010/06/owh-go-get-life.html
Enjoying participation pic: AIESEC files