where the hell is Matt?

Today, I got this video posted in AIESEC Member Committee President facebook group. I've heard a lot about this project long time ago, but only this time I finally spent my 4:53 minutes time to really watched the video *lame

and honestly, these are the feeling and thought that happened in me:

First of all: OMG! This guy is really awesome! He traveled around the world and (somehow) promoting peace is a very unique way. He's doing something that he believe and passion about. He is doing something fun and (somehow) important. And what have I done in my life? Do all activities that I did really matters? Do all those stuffs are creating a positive change for other people? Am I significant enough in this world or am I just a creature who just randomly around in this world? (=___=!)

Second: I do really miss home! (even honestly to say, I'm still finding out what is "home" for me) There is a unique feeling arise when I watch the scene of Thailand. Then, I feel so proud when it comes into the Bali scene.

Third: I miss my AIESEC fellows especially when the scene shows Toronto and Hungary. And, really, every places on that video reminds me of my friends (who are mostly AIESECer) from those countries

ah! This video really brought me into a gloomy feeling LOL

more information about Where the hell is Matt?: http://www.wherethehellismatt.com/about


Widy, alone in the MC house

today is a big day for me!

Today, 5th of March 2012, another loop in my life!

why?
why?
why?

It's (simply) because I just send my application for AIESEC International Vice President Marketing 2012-2013!

Even right now, I still can't believe that finally I made it!

I made the decision, filling up the booklet, juggling with the time, booking time for meeting with bunch of people, having lot of deep personal conversation with my family and my best friends.

And YES I'M APPLYING FOR AIESEC International (AI)!

Maybe it's not easy for you who haven't joined in AIESEC yet to understand how am I feeling right now.

Well, for me, AI position is something that is really sacred. I feel that it takes HUGE and TON of more courage to apply for AI rather than applying for job or scholarship. I guess it is because you can apply for job or scholarship anytime, but AI is a once in a life time experience.

When I was new member of AIESEC, there was an AI Introduction video (I don't which year of AI, but they were wearing dark blue light blue stripes jersey) that really inspired me a lot. Honestly I didn't have any idea what is AI, who they are, what they are doing, why they do exist in AIESEC, but something that I know is: this people are looked so cool, smart, and awesome! they seems do a huge responsibility and tasks but they are happy with it and they enjoy every single moment that they do! the most important factor that really struck me is that they are so young but they do a serious business just like other old people in the level-C management of multinational corporation.

Since the first time I joined AIESEC, deep down in my heart I always want to experience being in AI team. But I didn't have even gut to apply for that not even thinking of applying. Thinking of applying AI was something that beyond my reach. I guess it is also supported by the fact that there were only 2 Indonesian who apply for AI in the last 7 years. So, applying for AI is something that is beyond our culture, beyond our paradigm, beyond everything. I guess if Jennie was not in AI last year, the thought of being AI will never really be existed in our members mind.

So, finally I made it!

I feel super excited with it!

This is super awesome!

This is amazing!

It's been years I only become the spectator of AI selection process, I downloaded the application, read the applicants booklet, watch their video and really get super duper amazed! Then, this year! I really make it happen! I'm part of the selection process!!!

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY!!!

Alhamdulillahirrabbilalamin :)

Thank you for AIESEC LC Surabaya, AIESEC in Indonesia, and AIESEC Thailand.
It's been an amazing year to get the learning from this 3 entities.

So I can say that I present this AI application journey to Allah, my parents, The Diamond, Sunshine, The Pioneer and all of my members who have helped me in finishing this application :) :)

THANK YOU!!!!!!!


ok! This is my application video for AI :)




p.s. this is just the beginning :D

about forgiving others

Today I wake up and found my self having my first 4 hours of the day with condition of super duper overwhelmed and feeling disappointed by somebody. Really really over extremely disappointed (again). Then somehow I feel really bad to have those feeling because I have promise to myself to not being like those miserable drama queen again :D Then I tried to forget it by doing some healthy stuff like take a shower and eating :D at last I try to open my Al Qur'an and read it. Then it so miraculous! I don't why, the part that I read has this part:

"Those who spend (freely), Whether in prosperity, or in adversity; who restrain anger, and pardon (all) men; For God loves those Who do good; And those who, Having done something to be ashamed of, or wronged their own souls, earnestly bring God to mind, and ask for forgiveness For their sins, and who can forgive sins except God? and are never obstinate in persisting knowingly in (the wrong) they have done"  (The Family of Imran 134-135)

Then I start to contemplate my self and remember what I did in the past such as hurting myself, who am I have the right to hurt my self? I'm just a human and even my body is not mine. How could I do that?

another article that I read:

So lose not heart, nor fall into despair: For ye must gain mastery if ye are true in faith (The Family of Imran 139)

I think that article is important to build up our confidence especially to bring back us to what it is really important for us :D

a blessing day

I can say that I'm somewhat satisfied and grateful with today.

My day was started with my conversation over skype with my best friend. Actually it was me who call for the meeting. I can say that it sort of a meeting, a coaching meeting to be exact. Literally I even made the agenda and map out all the topic that I want to talk with her in a mind map :D We were talking mostly about life (I've told you it was coaching :D ), started with my perception about the organization that I work with, my desired life that I want versus the life that I need, the meaning of my life, and about my relationship with people. I felt that it is needed for me to talk with somebody who have known me for years and seen how I have developed from teenager to young-adult. After the 3 hours talk, we conclude with she gave me 4 homework before our next meeting :D

1) to read The Alchemist-ok, now you know that I haven't read this book, what a shame :D

2) to find my life purpose

3) to make my life plan based on my life purpose

4) to really work on the action steps in my life plan :D

actually, all those last three points, I knew it already and I used to have it. But I don't know why, after these past 7 months everything become so blur and so confusing then I don't really sure what it should be for exact :(

The other stuffs that really moved me today are about the people that I have worked with in this past 3 years:

• I am so happy to know that my successor (for two times position) as well as was my team mate is accepted to be the facilitator of prestigious regional conference in the organization that we work. I can't describe how does my feeling, it was really amazing to know the girl that you recruit then you work together be in this achievement :)
• My other baby that I recruited 2 years ago, and somehow become sort of my successor, is applying for position in Thailand. For me, it is such an achievement! There are not many people from my local branch willing to go for even national leadership experience. After such a long due (about 5 years), without any representative in the national level from my local branch, I tried to break the culture and go for the national level. It was not easy, that is why I am so grateful that it is start to be a culture in my local branch to apply for higher position not only in the national level but even more, in the international level
• I got Black Berry Messenger invitation from a student in my department in university who is also work in the organization that I work. Then, I got news from her that there are lot students in year 2010 and 2011 who recognize our organization and be our member!! THIS IS AWESOME!!! I am so proud of my team!!
• Last but not least, the most epic one! I was watching through all the candidature videos for the national executive team of my organization in Thailand then it come to one video, the video of my local committee president. Believe it or not, I was crying like a baby. I was so moved to see how he has the courage to take another higher leap in this organization. This is such an incredible feeling.

Those makes me remember about all of the things that I've been through in these past 4,5 years. Start up the organization in my university, got rejection, people laughed at me, people mocked my actions, how people look down at me, and then how did I try to approach the parents of those kids. I was really persistence and put aside what other people think about me. The most important thing for me at that time was: How to make sure that there are more kids get opportunities like those lucky kids in Jakarta and other big cities in the world. I seriously didn't know how to make my ambition happen, at that time I just know that there is a great organization which I can use it as my tools to achieve my ambition :D

Then, another random but great things for today:

• I am so satisfied with my cooking skill today. The food that I cooked is acceptably good! I know it because I ate more today! That's the indicator for my food whether it's good or not good :D
• I went out for dinner with one of my team and we were having discussion about how our life should be in the next year :) such a thoughtful and inspiring discussion :)
• I start to read before I sleep even though my glasses are broken. I'm so happy with my self if I put more effort in doing something :D
• Midnight, I was sleeping and my successor called me asking about the Sunday meeting process and procedure. Incredibly I answered it just like I was not sleeping :D I just realized that he was calling me is in another hour, I was checking on my phone and saw that he was calling me. I don't remember at all about our conversation so I called him back to check that I didn't talk a crap (hahaha I feel so stupid! ;p)

Then last, it is so sweet. My member sent me a what's app message like this:

Widyyyy

I miss MC (*MC = member committee, my team)

T..T

This is so fast

I don't want u guys leave Thailand so soon

I wanna work and have time with u guys more longer

(T_T)

so sweet...

ah such a blessing day :) Alhamdulillah!

a challenge

why does everything so much more easier back home?

why is it really hard to understand the need of a society?

why do every time I want to do something that I thought it will be good for this society, turns into it is not really something that they want to do?

why they don't want to do it? maybe because they don't really need it

I think it is something like when we go to a primitive tribe, we thought that they need a toilet paper but actually they can just simply use the leaves

it's been 7 months and I haven't really blended with the society here

I am still an alien here

I see that there are super a lot opportunities

I see that these society will be better with our proposal idea

I want to have more people look at this society

I want to have more people recognize this society

but if the society don't want to have that recognition, don't want to be developed

what should I do?

and another question:

why should I be here?

if it is just for my own personal learning, I don't see the meaning of it

I want to do more and more for more people

but if they don't want to do it and they are happy with it

what to do oh what to do?